My BEST friends!

My best friends! My Monticello friends make fun of me when I mention a best friend by saying, “ Which one? You have 10!” My response, "No, I only have 4 and they are all very different and very much my REAL BEST FRIENDS"



Let me explain. They are all my sorority sisters, Zeta Tau Alphas, from college at Illinois State. We were all friends in college but each of these friendships has evolved greatly over time.

First there is Alicia Mesi ( far left). She and I met on the day we pledged Zeta in September 1996 and have been best friends ever since- really. I'm not exactly sure when it happened but we clicked immediately. She and I were the girls in college who had super short hair. It took us 10 minutes to get ready when others were taking hours so we spent lots of time just talking and laughing. She, like me, has control issues, loves to plan and is very detailed oriented. While some might think that would be a challenge for a friendship, we respect each other completely and have always been able to just get along. She's strong and outspoken and so confident. She has the best laugh in the world and can make you feel like the most important person in the universe just by her deep embrace. She's the one I go to when I need someone to tell me like it is. To be my devil's advocate, to give me another perspective. She will tell me when I'm wrong and knock me off my pedestal when I need it but support me and back me always and she is the person everyone wants in their corner. 13 years after our friendship began, we still talk weekly about our day to day lives, our students we teach , our loves, and the hard stuff that no one else wants to talk about.



Then there's Heather Schamal Boyd ( far right). She's always been "Schamie" to me. She and I weren't even friends when convienence dictated that we become roommates in the sorority house in 1999. What started off as an easy friendship built on a few common links quickly turned into a forever friendship that amazes me. We lived together for almost two years in the house, sharing every detail of our lives. When she fell in love with her furture husband, Justin, in college- I was living with her and felt very much apart of the love and googly phase she was in. I was overjoyed because for once, Schamie has found a man who was in love with who she was and would treat her like the queen she deserves to be. Schamie is my swearing buddy. My potty mouth comes out in full force with this one and she and I can talk and talk and talk about absolutely nothing for hours without even thinking about the time. Heather is smart, witty, hilarious, a true American patriot, and super sensative. She married a man who decided to become a Navy Jag officer and travel the world. She currently lives in Spain and although the miles apart have been tough at times, our conversations still make me feel like she's in the same room. Heather is a mom- the only other one of my BFs. She has a two year old daughter and that bond of motherhood I have with Heather is priceless to me. She's the one I call when I hate my kids and my husband and my life or I'm overwhelmed by the vomit and poop and laundry. She's the one I cry to uncontrollably for a half hour and then get done crying and say, " I'm good now" and she gets it- no explaination needed. She feeds my mothering soul and she lifts me up in my daily life, giving me support that no other friend could. Her hubby, Justin is pretty special in our lives too and 3 years ago we asked them both to serve as Alaric's Godparents- linking our friendship with our child forever.



Now Jen Lahart Murray ( second from the left). We were good friends in college, especially my 2nd senior year. The interesting thing about Jenny is I actually know the moment she went from my good friend to my best friend. It was my senior pub crawl in 2000. She came along as a spectator, not a participant. The last bar we went to was McLean County Bar, where she bartended. When the other crawlers had called it a night, she and I spend the next few hours bellied up to the bar just talking. About everything and nothing at all. There was a spark between us that night and we both felt like our friendship had changed. As corny as we both are most of the time, we actually told each other that night and we've been BFs ever since. She's my everyday best friend. It used to be that very seldom did a day pass that I didn't talk to Jenny. She knows all the little things that happen each day....when I have a hangnail or a headache or when I'm crabby or just need to be left alone. She fits that role perfectly for me. She has no problem talking me through the process how best I should grocery shop or how gmail might make my life so much simpler. She's my accountability partner. I run big decisions by her before I comitt and I she and I can pro/com just about everything. She tells me when I should say no because I have to much on my plate or says that I just have to do it. She listens to every word I say and has no problem putting everything else aside and sitting down just to talk to me about something serious on the phone. She was with me the night I fell in love with Brian and the person I stayed up with crying and laughing to when I broke up with an old boyfriend to start my new life with Brian. She told me never to look back and I didn't. She's Brian's best friend too and when you get the three of us together with alittle wine- we all talk about our love ( and polictics and religion too). Just last year we asked Jenny to be Amara's Godmother and it's a decision we feel so comfortable with- knowing she will be in our lives forver.

Finally there is Rachel Lukawski Kuna ( to my left). Like Jenny, she was just a friend in college, not a best friend. Our friendship has grown more and more each year since college and it really wasn't until about 5 years ago that I felt as though my life would be incomplete without Rachel in it as my best friend. Her smile can light up a room, a building, or the entire world and when she's talking to you- she looks right in your eyes and you can feel her heart. She radiates love for those she cares about and I always feel so honored to be her friend. She's the snuggler and always has been. She's very physical and always wants to hug and touch and hold hands. She'll play with my hair while we watch TV or lay on the couch together with wine while we catch up. Rachel is the friend you go to when you need to hear support, support, support, love, love, love. She always wants me to know that I'm a good person and she always is the one to take my side, no matter the situation. She's so sensative and can cry and any minute when you talk to her about her friendships, her family, or her new husband Todd and she will cry with me about anything too. She thinks my kids are the cutest in the whole world ( other than her nephew) and can't wait to hug and snuggle them too. Rachel is my sweetheart who loves me unconditionally and tells me so.

So yes, I have 4 best friends who fill the friendship part of my soul completely. They are each so different and so unique in my life. My biggest pleasure in the whole world- having all five of us together- (which doesn't happen very often) I'm so blessed that we are all such great friends together and cherish our relationships with each other.

My husband loves these women in my life and my kids will always know each of them as Aunt Alicia, Aunt Heather, Aunt Jenny, and Aunt Rachel.

Thankyou Al, Schamie, Jenny, and Rach for being the best friends in my world and being such a positive force in my life. I love you all!