Tuesday, October 4, 2011

My Amazing Church Family

My wonderful Christian Ed Director and friend, Barb told Bri there was something for me at church. Never would I have imagined it would be a prayer journal.
Filled with best wishes, prayers and poems, notes of encouragement, and even a gift certificate to Biaggi's.

This has been a tough 53 days. One thing that has been the hardest for me is accepting help. Letting others do for me. Care for me. Love me. I'm the one who makes meals for others. I'm the one who sends cards, notes, and love. I'm the one because i'm good at it. I want to. I feel a great calling to do so. Its feeds me and makes me who I am to help others and accepting it makes me less strong. Less able to manage. Less. Or so I thought. A select few have seen through my screen of bullshit and realized that you don't ask to help, you just do. You don't ask if I'd like a meal, you just bring one over. And you don't believe it when someone says they don't need anything at all and they are OK. You hug. You hold tight. You do. Because while it might fill my soul to serve others, lately its felt damn good to be loved and served. I am so humbled by it all. I feel so empowered. So lifted up by the prayers and compassion of others. COMPASSION- the word is tattooed to my body forever. I try to live it each day. And the feeling of it. Having it envelope me during this time is the most incredible gift.

Thankyou to the many people in my life who are reaching to me. Still reaching and realizing I'm full of it. I need you. I appreciate you. I'm changed because of you.

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