I hear ya, Mother Teresa!

"I know God will only give me what I can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much."
~Mother Teresa

It's true, Mother! I'm feeling it. "God only gives us what we can handle" has been a mantra for me at some very key times in my life....when Alaric was born almost 7 weeks early and in the NICU for 26 days I often times said this quote over and over and it gave me strength and hope. When Brian lost his job and we were so unsure about what our future would hold, this saying kept my faith alive. When I was struggling with health issues this summer, this quote got me through some difficult days. Sometimes I find me saying it just on days when the kids are tough, I'm tired and crabby.

When I first heard Mother Teresa's spin on this quote- my mantra a few months ago- I found it to be so true. I've thought of her often and her life as I go through my own struggles. Again- today, yesterday, for sure tomorrow and more days after, I again find myself reciting this quote and trying to channel Mother Teresa and gain strength from her.

Again our family is in a health crisis and again I ask for prayers and support. I find myself asking God, "what more can we take, Lord?" but I know we can endure more- I have faith we can handle this. Right now it just SUCKS!!!!( I'm sure Mother Teresa wanted to say that too!)

From below blog posts and Brian's blog http://run4it-illinois.blogspot.com/ you may know he's been suffering from some stomach issues lately. First we thought kidney stones, then Gall Stones ( even though he doesn't have a GallBladder). Then the symptoms got worse and we were very concerns he could have pancreatitis. Calls and begging at his family practioner and GI office Tuesday AM were fruitless so I left work to pick him up at 9:45Am and head to the ER.

Thank God we ruled out Pancreatitis but the diagnosis is currently stomach ulcers. I say currently because once again, we were not given a solid diagnosis. The ER doc said the only way to know for sure was to do an endoscope and only GI can do that-CRAP! back to square one.

They send Bri home with Prilosec and Vicatin and told him not to eat spicy food or drink alcohol for a few weeks. That's it! Ya know what- that might be OK for some but when you are bent over in pain, you feel like your insides are chewed up and you can't work- being sent home and told to take two pills a day just doesn't seem enough...oh and " we think it's an ulcer" just doesn't sound that convincing.

Don't get me wrong, many times in the last 6 months or so after Brian had worked 2 60-hour weeks at Allerton and then lost his job and was under such stress trying to find a new one, I told him often that I was surprised he didn't have a stomach ulcer so I do think it's a possibility that an ulcer is our answer. I just wish that our healthcare system was such that we would be allowed to see the doctors we need to in a timely manner and not have to wait a month to see someone or head to the ER and pay $200 just to be seen. I wish doctors would listen to the whole story of the symptoms instead of hearing only one part and running with it ( when Brian told the med student that this all started after a pretty significant night of drinking 2 weeks ago that left him with a bad hangover- the doctor said perhaps he was still hungover- ARE YOU KIDDING ME????).

Brian stayed home from work today- unable to walk or move more than a few steps without shooting pain in his tummy. How much more can he take? Luckily, after telling the GI department that he went to the ER, they did schedule an ultrasound tomorrow so for that-we are grateful and hopefully can begin to get some more definitive answers.

I was so focused on Brian yesterday, I couldn't even care for Alaric who was home with allergies, asthma and a fever.

So- we aren't falling apart- I promise! Two people in the best shape of their lives having the worst summer of their lives health wise. We'll get through it. I know we will and the mantra plays over and over in my head.

They say when one door closes, another opens. They say things have a way of balancing themselves out. Today, As I channel Mother Teresa, I must believe THEY! While Brian and I have had our health struggles lately and Brian seems to get worse and worse, my sweet nephew Jack Rollins, born just two weeks ago today, gets stronger and stronger and today- gets to come home from the hospital after being 6 weeks early and in the NICU! We are so happy, so elated, and so stinkin ready to meet our nephew! We will all be OK. We have such blessings in our life. There by the Grace of God.