A Runner's Journal

Ha!!!! I can't even write the word "runner" while talking about myself without laughing. Maybe I should call it "jogger". No, that's not quite right either. It's probably best to call it "wobbler" but for this entry, I'll pretend I RUN!

I am capable of the act of running now. I know, it surprised me too. Last January, in efforts to lose weight, Bri and I stepped on our treadmill and starting moving. Within a week, Bri was running and kicking butt. Like all things I moved slower but we were dilegent and we kept moving. Then late this spring, Bri decided to challenge himself and run outside. He did amazing and started rotating his runs inside on the treadmill and outside on the pavement. He challenged me to do that same and one dark morning at 4:45AM, I got all dressed up and tried to run outside for the very first time in more than 5 years. That first day I ran almost 2 miles straight without stopping once and as I entered the house again at 5:30 in the morning, I wanted to scream from the rooftops, I was so proud of myself.

We've stuck with it and it's been gratifying. Bri started talking about doing a 5K in late November. I was supportive and told him I would bundle up the babies and we'd be the loudest cheering section for him at the race! Then our good friend, Mira competed in her first Triatholon and blogged about it. We are always so inspired by this friend but even more so to hear about her triatholon feat! Bri posted a comment on her blog and told her that WE, meaning him AND ME, would be competing in our first 5K November 21st. WHAT?

"What did you write?" I yelled

"Why would you say that?"

" Because I know you can do it too, Katie", he said with ease

And so, my personal journey to not make a fool of myself running began!

We get up at 4:45Am to workout because we have to be done by 6 when the kids get up. Bri runs outside on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, and me on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. We observe the Sabbath on Sunday :-) On our off days, we work out inside so of course, someone is always home with the kids.

I run because I'm physically capable of doing so. Not because I love it. Hell, I don't even like it. My motivation? Seriously, this 5K and not going back on a comittment I said I would do. Oh, and my jiggly butt. Have you seen the size of this thing since having two kids?

So, I wake up at 4:45AM and dress in the same clothes each time. My only white, long-sleeved t-shirt ( 1996 Sigma Chi Derby Days shirt), my black running capris, and my Illini winter headband. There are days its a bit cold when I get started but by the end, it's the right outfit. Trust me, I'm a vision- especially at 5Am!

I don't run with an I-Pod or anything. Bri does but I don't even know how to turn his on. It's just me and the pavement. My girlfriend, Mira-the runner, talks about how good it feels hearing the sounds of her feet on the pavement and the rush she feels by the wind on her face. I try to channel Mira but again, I'm not a runner, I'm just trying not to get burned by the wind and trying to count my steps on the pavement to keep me from stopping, like I really want to do!

Most of the time, I am just running to move forward and get this run over with. True. I know my marks on my route that motivate me to keep going. 1/2 mile is the other side of the square, 1 mile is the HighSchool, 2 miles is the Mortland house, etc. Just keep running. I think about my day and what I need to get done. I try to think about what the kids are going to wear that day or who I need to call or e-mail. I look in windows. Who else is up at 5:07AM? What are they doing? Ooh- the TV is on. Are they watching Sports Center like Bri? Which morning show? COuld it be Channel 3 with my girlfriend, Anne Dill? Reruns of Law & Order on USA perhaps? I count my breaths. I picture me running in daylight on the morning of November 21st and what that will look like. Sometimes I think of those people on the Biggest Loser who weigh 3 times as much as I do and finished a mile on the first day of camp or last season's crazy-ass contestants who COMPLETED a frickn' marathon. "If they can do it, Katie- you can do. Their butt is bigger than yours and they aren't stopping!" I tell myself. I breathe, I move, I run.

I don't run fast. Infact, some might walk faster than I run. I can do 10 minute miles and that makes me happy. I've been running my 3.1 miles now for almost a month and I'm confident I can do it....in two weeks when it might be snowing? We'll see.

It's been a journey. One of the hardest physical and mental challenges I've faced. It's my routine. It's now just what I do. Sometimes I'm halfway through my run before I really wake up and say, "I'm actually up and doing this and THANK GOD I'm halfways done!!!" I do it with Bri and I love that!

We've never actually run together and I don't think we will since he runs 7 or 8 minute miles but it's a challenge we faced together and a journey I'm so proud to be on with him. Our bodies have changed together, our calluses have formed together, our shin splits hurted together. I've lost 32 pounds since January and so proud of who I've become along the way.

Only 13 more days til the race-only 6 more runs at 5Am before I have to been seen in daylight, in my cute running outfit!

I may wobble my way though the 3.1 miles each week and I may not be very cute or graceful doing it but I'M DOING IT- something I didn't dream of doing a year ago- and I'm proud of myself and my husband for this time in our life!