Saturday, March 2, 2013

A Fresh Start!

A fresh start!  Today is that for sure.  The past 3 ½ weeks have been emotionally agonizing.  After much prayer, much thought, much conversation, and a few beers, I decided to resign from my position as a teacher at the Montessori School I was teaching at and Amara was attending.  Friday was both of our last days.

There is no need to go into detail as to why I made my decision.  It’s made.  I’m at peace with it.  I spend the last 3 weeks at school really savoring each moment with Amara there and cherishing the time I spent with my students.  I took tons of pictures (this is me we are talking about), I communicated constantly with the teacher who would be replacing me, and I cried some too.  At school a tiny bit, at home often.

Brian and I told Mara last Wednesday that she would no longer be going to school and that she would be home with me everyday instead.  I think Alaric was more questioning than Mara- she said she was “amazed!” and then asked if she could still have a play date with a school friend.

See, she’s my mentor through this really.  She’s the one I’m looking  to model how to feel and how to behave.  If only we all could simplify our emotions and our lives and think like 4 year olds.  She smiled.  She giggled.  She even gave us hugs.  She was excited for something new.  Me too.  I can’t wait to be home and spend a few more precious months with her before she goes to Kindergarten next year.  I’ll home school her a little each day but honestly, I’m not worried about this girl, academically- she’s already reading and writing and she’s so bright.  I’m giddy to be able to focus on my home and family more too and have the opportunity to volunteer in Bubba’s classroom and sub some too. 

As we said our prayers Wednesday night, Mara said he felt happy and a bit sad too.  I get that.  That’s me to a T!  I’ve been very confident in my decision but I’m sad to go.  I LOVE THIS SCHOOL!  Anyone from face book knows I praise Montessori endlessly but also give lots of Kudos to this specific school.  I love who I work with.  I adore my students and tell them often I love them.  I am sad.  I told Mara what I’ve been telling myself for weeks (I think she’s got a better grasp that me on it already). 

“It’s OK to be sad.  I’m sad too.  We have great friend and lots of fun times.  Those will never go away.  They are in our hearts forever.  Now we get to try something new.  You and me.  Together. Its gonna be awesome!”

It will be awesome.  A fresh start.  A new beginning after an incredibly challenging year.  I’m ready for it.  There will be more ups and downs on this journey.  But I’m confident the ups will outweigh the downs and I’m only looking forward not back.

Metamorphosis Montessori School transformed my child from a defiant strong willed princess  who loved to have her way but loved others to do things for her to a poop shoveling, egg collecting and frying girl who now climbs trees, takes out garbage, reads, helps, participates, and irons too!  Truly a metamorphosis.  I’m forever grateful for the experiences Mara and I both had at this little gem of a school and I know those times have made me a better teacher and mother.

I’m ready to start fresh.  Here we go…

A look back

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