I'm NOT Perfect!

Shocking News!  I’m not perfect!  I know, I know….at first I too couldn’t believe it.  No really. I was trying. And when you find out you aren’t going to ever achieve what you are trying for is shocking. I may not have actually been trying to be perfect but I was trying desperately hard to be pretty great most of the time.  And what I’m learning is that I’m pretty great no matter what- even on my worst days, I’m OK.

I was asked to serve on a launch team for a book by one of my favorite mommy authors, Jill Savage (read the blog post before this for my connection to Jill).   I was overjoyed!  I knew she was writing this new book, No More Perfect Moms, and anything Jill Savage writes is amazing so I wanted to be on her team-I applied!  And…in my non-perfect world, I got word I would be on the launch team and have the opportunity to spread the word, blog, talk to moms, and yell from the rooftops just a day before my foot surgery.  A surgery I had been planning for months. This surgery had me up all night, many a nights trying to get things “perfectly” prepared for Advent and Christmas and traveling and cleaning, etc. 

“WHAT!? NOT NOW!  How am I possibly even going to stay awake long enough to read my advanced copy of the book much less blog and chat and talk and promote this book?” I wondered over and over. 

I felt frustrated.  I felt anxious.  And then I realized…late the night before my surgery as I folded the last piece of laundry and wiped the last counter and laid out my kids’ outfits for the morning, that this was what I needed.  THIS BOOK!  AT THIS EXACT TIME IN MY LIFE! 

Brian and I had talked numerous times over the weeks before surgery about how things would be.  I would be unable to walk for weeks. Unable to move any further than the bathroom for days.  I would be drugged and tired and unable to DO anything…all just days before Christmas.  Brian said to me more than once ( OK, dozens of times), “It will all get done.  It will even be done well.  It just won’t necessarily be done your way.  And you are going to have to be OK with that.”  And really, I was.

While there were a few times of frustration and tears as I worked through the pain and the missing out on the special Christmas crafts and activities, I realized they were replaced with even sweeter moments I never would have had….snuggling in bed with my kids before school, taking an afternoon nap with my 4 year old, holding each other on the couch while we watched movies all day, reading book after book with my kids between pain killers and cat naps,  having special moments with my husband while he had to bathe me and dress me and my wounds, ACCEPTING help from friends and receiving meals, allowing people to take my kids , and run errands and check on me.  It was really wonderful.  It wasn’t the PERFECTLY PERFECT Christmas week I was used to…but it became something even better, precious and priceless!

I did get to pick up that book I was supposed to read.  It wasn’t on the timeline I wanted.  Not when I had hoped in order to launch it and do it justice all through the month of December and January.  But I opened it.  I stayed awake. I devoured it. You know a book is powerful when you don’t even get past the introduction and you are already in tears.  Tears of joy.  Of understanding.  Of mommy-love.  Each word I read resonated with my soul.  It sang to me.  Helped me remember to hold on to the precious and priceless moments, not try to make them perfect.

I’m not the perfect mom.  I don’t have the perfect kids.  My husband isn’t perfect and neither is our relationship.  My body isn’t perfect and neither is my mind.  My house isn’t perfect either.  As I turn pages in this powerful book, No More Perfect Moms, I have the pleasure of reflecting on my perfectly imperfect world.  The one I wouldn’t trade for anything.  The one I love more and more each day, especially as I learn more and more about who I am. 

Each of you should read this book.  If you are a mom and you struggle with your journey through motherhood, I assure you this book with speak to you.  And this week is the perfect week to buy it.  From February  3^rd-9^th,  you can buy the book and receive more than $100 in freebies.  Please check out the information at www.hearts-at-home.org  .

This week I will blog each day about my imperfect world.  You won’t see those perfect craft projects and themed dinners and teachable moments I have but get to edit for this blog before publishing.  Instead you’ll hear about how I’m a real mom.  A real woman. A real wife.  An imperfect one.  Won’t you join me each day and help me celebrate this amazing journey through motherhood?