Are you kidding me? It's been one of those days....

Alaric was up tons in the night coughing. We weren't sure if it was his asthma or a cold.

Al started his nebulizer at 7AM, Brian left soon after and within minutes, my Strong Willed Child began her daily struggles for power with me. It was mostly whining, yelling, and crying ( her not me but I thought about it) for the next hour while we raced to get everyone dressed and ready for school, casserole for the moms group out of the oven, the meal I cooked for another family in a bag, service project loaded in the car, gifts for others at my moms meeting complete,etc.

I have a strong willed child who I adore completely and struggle everyday to figure out. Two weeks ago, my moms group had a speaker who touched on strong willed children and when I found out they had a book, I bought it! i can't wait to start and try to get some strategy to outsmart my super smart, strong willed 2 year old!

Anyway, I digress....

Shoved the kids and the stuff in the car with Mara screaming and drove the two blocks to Al's school. Unloaded my coughing kid and my screaming one who wanted to he held and told the teacher Al's cough was bad but we thought it might just be asthma and to call if it got worse. Unloaded my meal for a friend and re-loaded a screaming child again into the car to go to The Moms Group.

Before exiting the car, I told Amara she couldn't fuss or cry and that I couldn't hold her because I had 10 other things to carry. "O TAY Mommy!" she smiled.

Three seconds later, with my hands full of stuff, Amara starts screaming to be held on the sidewalk...picture it...me with both hands full, a diaper bag over a shoulder and a screaming crying kid yelling, "hold me, Momma...hold me Momma" over and over and over. Deep breath!

Kristy picked up some of the stuff I had to leave on the sidewalk to pick up my child and I got inside, unloaded my junk and opened my casserole to share and talked for 1. 3 seconds before Amara wanted to go to her classroom.

hell yeah! She never wants to go. I told her I would stay for one minute with her and then I'd go to my meeting. "O Tay, Mommy!" she replied.

Not one minute later as I built a block tower did my phone ring and it was Brian telling me Lincoln School had called him on accident instead of me and Al was coughing so bad and needed to be picked up. I told Amara I would be right back and I was going to get Bubba and she LOST IT ( screaming and fussing trying to crawl INTO be to be held). All I wanted was a 2 hour break from my life to be with other moms who also needed a 2 hour break and now I had a coughing kid and a screaming kid. Great.

I left my crap at TMG and dragged my kicking child out of the building, ready to cry myself and not sure what to do with Al. Was he sick or just annoyed by his cough. Should I take him to the doc or bring him home? Could I get away with bringing him to TMG so I could have a break?

By the time I left the parking lot, I was in tears myself and yelling at Amara in the backseat who still wouldn't be quiet. I kinda lost it. I called Bri and totally unloaded and probably scared the shit out of him as I cried that I just wanted a short break from my screaming child.

We pulled up to Licoln and Amara was still SCREAMING! Got inside and saw my sweet boy on the bench in the office with his principal on the floor in front of him holding a glass of water and a trash can nearby. He was coughing so much he was crying and gagging. My heart broke immediately and the raging bitch mom who wanted to beat her daughter turned fast into the compassionate mom who just wanted to take away the pain of her sick son.

Kids get it. They sense when something serious is going on. Alaric was scaring me. He was white as a ghost, cold, sick-eyed, and unable to talk to me because of the talking. I scooped up the kids and got in the car and Amara got quiet. She started to fuss as I sat there for a moment trying to process what to do and I yelled, "Quiet, Bubba is sick. I need to think" She never stopped crying but she settled into a whimper and I was grateful.

I got onto MOnticello road to head to Carle Clinic in Champaign when I realized I forgot my wallet. back home. By this point, I am in tears again. Guilty that I yelled at my daughter, mad at myself that I lost it and really lost it to my husband who now isn't sure if I'm even sane, and so sad that Alaric is so sick and I sent him to school. We got back on Monticello Road headed to Champaign and I pass a cop....and the cop stops, turns around and turns on the lights.

SHIT!!!!!!!! Except I actually used the much dirtier word and yes, I yelled it in front of my kids. Alaric is coughing and cant catch his breath and Amara starting screaming again as soon as I yelled. I lost it...

The poor police officer lady. She came to the car and I handed her my info and she asked if I had a reason for speeding. I said "No" and immediately starting bawling. I told her my son was sick and having a hard time breathing and I was speeding trying to get to Carle in Champaign and I started sucking air and sobbing. She asked if he was going to be OK or if I needed help. I told her he would be fine but needed stronger medicine that what I had. She looked in the backseat at my screaming daughter and my coughing son and said, "one of those days, huh? Let me get your info and get you a warning"

A warning? I was only getting a warning for driving 64 in a 55? Perhaps those stories of sobbing women getting warnings was correct. She came back with a pleasant look and handed me my form to fill out. She tried to chat with the kids for a moment ( Mara was now quiet and oddly still). She asked if they were 2 and 4 ( yes-did she have secret info on me?) She said she had a 2 and a 4 year old at home too and she too had bad days. Told me to drive safe, slow down, and get him to the doctor.

I drove...slowly. The doctor was wonderful and as soon as she took Al's shirt off to examine him, determined he was in the middle of a pretty significant attack. She said since we was so skinny and bony I could actually see what the attack was doing to him. When he breathed in, he skin got tight and he wasn't able to get his belly full. I can't describe it but you could actually SEE that the lungs weren't filling and the skin was getting tight when it shouldn't be. Also his pulseox was 88 and he was concerned. He had a nebulizer treatment with extra good drugs in it and sure enough, 15 minutes later, he could almost carry a conversation and his pulseox was up to 94. Thank God. 5 days of predisone and round the clock nebulizer treatments every 4 hours of the next 24 then down to every 6 hours until Monday. Back in to see him Monday when we get another checkup and another set of plans for the future of Alaric's asthma season. ( by the way- Amara was very pleasant in the doctor's office)

They each got a cookie from the cafe since it was now 11AM and they were starving and I was unprepared and we headed back to Monticello. Amara and I talked about her behavior as only a mom and a 2-year-old can and she said, "I wuv you, Mommy". I went back to where my moms meeting was to pick up all the crap that I left the first time and I was overjoyed to see that my secret sister ( secret santa but all semester long) bought me a bottle of wine and told me to relax! Are you kidding me. I thought about opening it before I even left the building!!! PERFECT TIMING.

The rest of the morning was uneventful with a dose of nasty prednisone and another neb treatment, lunch, and some playtime before naps. What a day! And it's only noon!